Mailbag time as we await official word on Cincy-Bama showdown

December 6, 2009 at 7:15 pm Leave a comment

Time for our regular Q&A feature, in which Half Shark-Alligator Half Man dips deep into his well of wisdom to answer your pressing questions about Cincinnati Bearcats football.

Dear HSAHM,

What should the line be for the BCS championship game?

T.B., White Oak, OH

T.B. – I don’t care as long as Bama’s favored, which I’m sure they will be since we all know the East Coast/West Coast/Midwest media elite is biased against Cincinnati. Why do I want Bama favored? Because if I’ve learned one thing through my years of close analysis of Bearcat football, it’s that WE WILL DEFINITELY WIN THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. So I plan to bet my life savings on Cincy which means I will have slightly more life savings on Jan. 8! Who says you can’t make money blogging?

Dear HSAHM,

If Brian Kelly leaves for Notre Dame, can you put in a good word for, uh, my friend to be Cincy’s next defensive coordinator? He’s a veritable defensive guru but people don’t really seem to appreciate his genius so he might be let go from his current job after this season.

G.R., Ann Arbor, MI

G.R. – I don’t really know anyone in the Cincinnati athletic dept., but it’s moot anyway because Brian Kelly ain’t goin’ nowhere! The requirements for the N.D. job have gradually become more and more strict, and frankly Kelly just doesn’t fit the bill. First you had to be incompetent. Now apparently you have to be incompetent and a giant d-bag. What’s next? You have to murder someone in front of the N.D. trustees to prove you’re also a bad person? That’s why a great man like Kelly will never get that job. Sorry! But if you want me to proofread your resume I can certainly help you that way, because people tell me I’m really good at stuff like that.

Dear HSAHM,

If a bear and a cat got into a fight, who would win?

A.D., Deer Park, OH

A.D. – That’s a ridiculous question because everyone knows bears and cats would never fight.They love each other, and that is how we are lucky enough to have the awesome mascot we have! People often ask me where bearcats come from. The answer is, when a bear and a cat love each other very, very much, sometimes they hug each other really tight, and 9 months later a bearcubkitten is born! Then it grows up and becomes the mighty and regal creature known as the bearcat.

Keep those questions coming – it’s always a pleasure to enlighten my faithful bearcubkittens by sharing my tremendous knowledge with you. Til next time!

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Brief history of this unofficial Cincinnati Bearcats football blog ZOMFG! WTF?!? BCS spelled backward is SCB, which stands for “Screw Cincinnati Bearcats”!

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